Career Opportunities
by eprime
Summary: Remus discusses his career options.


1.

The door to the seventh year dormitory slammed open and Remus strode in without sparing a look for the other occupants of the room. He threw himself on the bed and drew the curtains shut with a vicious yank.

"The lot of you had best leave me alone." The heavy fabric only somewhat muted the snarl in his voice. "And if Padfoot so much as sticks his nose through the curtains I'll whack him with the Sunday version of the Prophet."

The three boys outside the curtains exchanged glances. Peter looked wary, James somewhat amused, and Sirius was sporting an indignant scowl.

"What's up his arse?" Peter whispered rather loudly, moving to sit on the bed where James and Sirius had been flipping through Quidditch magazines.

"I can hear you, wankers!" Remus growled. They heard a mumbled cursing and rustling, then the sound of Remus casting a silencing spell.

"Are you going to go talk to him?" Peter asked James and Sirius.

"Be my guest," James said. "If you don't know by now to duck and run when he gets like this, it's your funeral."

"And he has the nerve to take his mood out on Padfoot." Sirius sniffed. "Ungrateful git."

"I'm not sure that's fair, Sirius." James smirked. "Not everyone considers having Padfoots's cold, wet nose jammed in inappropriate places a comfort."

"Padfoot is an innocent, loving beast."

Peter snorted.

"Furthermore," Sirius said loudly. "Man's best friend, besides. See if he ever offers you a shoulder to cry on again!" The last bit he yelled towards Remus's bed.

"He can't hear you, you know." Peter pointed out.

"Yeah, and Remus doesn't ever cry," James reminded him.

"Shut it. I bet he is in there eavesdropping, really. Anyway, you're _all_ useless gits, and I'm going to dinner." Sirius rose with a haughty toss of his hair and moved to the door that was still swinging slowly back and forth from the force of Remus's entrance. "And don't think I'm bringing you back any pudding, Lupin!"

James and Peter looked at each other and shrugged.

"Canines." Peter said the word with the air of one who'd been through this sort of thing before.

"So high maintenance," James agreed.

"So, dinner?" Peter asked brightly?

"Yes, before that greedy mutt eats it all."

2.

When the three boys returned to the tower after dinner, Remus was still on his bed, but the curtains were open-a good sign. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was staring straight up at the ceiling.

"All right, Remus?" Peter called out bravely.

"Would you like a blow job, Peter?" Remus asked abruptly.

"Er...what?"

James and Sirius, who had been struggling to get each other in a headlock, stumbled to a halt behind Peter and stared.

"A blow job. Do you want me to blow you, Peter?"

Peter swallowed, managing to choke on his own saliva, and he started coughing desperately. James unwound himself from Sirius to pound him on the back.

"What's all this about, Moony?"

"I just thought I'd try to get a head start on my future career options."

A sudden look of understanding crossed Sirius's face.

"You spoke to McGonagall today, didn't you?"

"Yes, and according to her the ministry has made it even more impossible for the likes of me to find gainful employment than it was two years ago during our fifth year career counseling session."

"It isn't-you have some options, don't you?" Peter asked, recovering from his coughing fit.

"No one in their right mind would hire me given the restrictions the Ministry would burden them with. Not that they'd want to anyway," he added bitterly. "Though, there is one job I'm apparently qualified for."

"What is it?" James asked, sure he really didn't want to know the answer.

"Experimental Test Subject." Remus's voice was flat, and he still hadn't looked at them.

Everyone winced.

"So I've decided to embrace a career on the other side of the law. Not quite sure how I'd go about joining up with a smuggling ring or what not. Considered cat burglar for a while-thought maybe you could lend me your cloak, James, but it's a family heirloom and all, so I figured rent boy was the way to go. What do you think the going rate is for a blow on a street corner these days?"

"Moony," James said in his deepest voice, the one he used when he wanted to impress Evans with how responsible and mature he'd become. Sirius just looked pale and a little sick around the edges. Peter perked up, though, looking at James to offer a reasonable solution to Remus's troubles.

"Fifteen galleons sounds reasonable, don't you think?" Remus continued to discuss the prospect of charging for illicit sexual acts as if he was reciting History of Magic notes. "Fifty to bugger me? What do you say? James? Sirius?"

James seemed to think the best thing to do would be to jolly Remus out of his dark mood. He bounded across the room, sat on the bed next to Remus and ruffled his hair.

"Don't sell yourself short, mate. Forget about street corners. You could be one of those high class escorts. Shag beautiful society witches and be showered with silk knickers and fancy chocolates day and night."

Remus snorted. "If I was Sirius maybe. He _would_ have those sorts gagging for it. The only people who'll want a skinny, scarred bit like me are perverted old sods with a swotty schoolboy fetish. You all should do me a favor and give me the practice."

"I don't want a blowjob, but I can lend you five galleons if you need it, Remus," Peter piped up.

Everyone laughed, even Remus, grudgingly, and Sirius moved to sit on the bed next to them.

"Have you ever even _given_ a blow job before?" Sirius asked, nudging Remus's arm with a smirk that didn't quite hide his curiosity.

"No, but-hey, I bet I could charge more for that," he mused. "Bet the whole deflowering angle would be worth something. Wonder how many times I could get away with that."

"Shut it, you," James ordered. "That's not going to happen. _We_ won't let anything like that happen to you, no matter what, you daft idiot. I've got loads of gold and so does Sirius, and what's ours is yours, yeah?"

"So, I'll just be your own personal tart, then?" Remus scowled.

"Yes, Moony darling," James crooned, leaning in to nuzzle Remus's ear. "Exactly. Sirius and I will take turns having our wicked way with you."

Sirius grinned, joining in. "I bet you'd look lovely in harem pants."

They ducked and rolled, laughing, as Remus snatched his wand off his bedside table. Peter yelped and dodged behind the closest bed.

"Gits," Remus muttered, but his mouth twitched up into a grin. He sat up and swung his legs off the bed.

"Now, where's my pudding?"

3.

Saturday afternoon meant James was on the Quidditch pitch leading practice, and Peter was in the stands watching. In the absence of Sirius, who Remus hadn't seen since breakfast, he had wandered out onto the grounds to enjoy a rare, blue sky day with barely a cloud in sight. Walking aimlessly he passed the greenhouses and meandered away from the lake where pockets of sun-worshipping students were lounging or tossing fanged frisbees back and forth.

His mood was still rather low, so he turned toward the forest away from company, skirting the edges of the line of trees. Once he'd rounded a bend that took him out of sight of both the students and the castle, he found a shady tree to recline under and shut his eyes.

His reverie was short-lived as he heard the crunch of leaves as someone pounded toward him.

"Where've you been, Sirius?"

Something plopped to the ground next him with a jingling rattle. Remus opened his eyes and blinked up at Sirius who was leaning one hand against the trunk of the tree and panting. Then he looked at the drawstring pouch that had landed next to him.

"What's this?"

"Open it." Looking rather furtive, Sirius straightened up and shook his hair off his face watching Remus loosen the strings and peer inside.

"Money?"

"Fifteen galleons."

"Fifteen-" Remus looked up at Sirius, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion and the beginnings of a frown. "What are you on about?"

"Well," Sirius hesitated. "It's like this. I think-I think I just might have a skinny, scarred, swotty schoolboy fetish."

Remus froze and stared up at Sirius with a startled expression.

"What?"

He wasn't sure if he should be upset, angry, thrilled, or simply gobsmacked by this astounding admission.

Sirius tried to smirk, though it came out a little shaky and slid off his face when Remus just kept staring at him.

"I mean, I just, well, I'd pay fifteen galleons-a hundred times that-for fifteen minutes in alley with you."

_Of all the ways to tell someone you fancy them-_ Remus had to fight to keep his face from spreading into a face-cracking grin. It was rather endearing in a way, even if Sirius was, in effect, offering him cash for services rendered. Not that they'd been rendered yet.

Unfolding himself slowly, Remus stood and stretched. Then he leaned up against the tree, one hip slightly cocked, lounging indolently the way he'd often seen Sirius do.

Sirius's eyes widened.

Remus tilted head and his fringe fell across his eyes, and he looked up under his lashes.

"Fifteen galleons for fifteen minutes, hm?" Remus gave him a slow, wicked smile. "That's a galleon a minute. Are you sure I'm worth it?"

Sirius seemed to stop breathing for a moment, but then he stepped forward until his chest brushed against Remus and his lips curved up in response.

"Oh, I'm _very_ sure you'll give me my money's worth."

His hands pushed Remus back against the tree and held him there as he pressed a kiss to his mouth. His lips were warm and soft and Remus felt his heart speed madly as Sirius slipped his tongue inside Remus's mouth and reached one hand up to run his thumb along the line of Remus's jaw.

Remus settled his hands against Sirius's hips, gasping into his mouth as their hips rocked together. The tight jeans Sirius wore did nothing to conceal the hard length of his cock. Remus could feel it pressing into the curve of his hip and belly, and as he angled just so it rubbed up against his own confined erection.

They both groaned. Their kisses deepened, grew more frantic and Sirius reached down to palm the front of Remus's trousers, molding to the hard bulge that twitched at his touch.

"Oh," Remus gasped, pulling his mouth away and arching off the tree as Sirius began to attack his neck with lips and teeth. "I'm supposed to be-to be taking care of you."

"My fifteen minutes," Sirius murmured against the hollow of Remus's throat. "I get to choose what I want, yeah?"

"Oh, God." Remus moaned as Sirius gave his cock a light squeeze. "Anything-anything you want."

Remus could feel the smile against his neck.

"That's a good boy," Sirius whispered, using both hands now to work Remus's trousers open and free his utterly raging erection.

Remus bit his lip hard as the cool air hit his cock and Sirius fisted his hand around it, squeezing and stroking upward, twisting a little at the head before sliding back down again. Remus made some guttural sound and rolled his head back against the tree, and Sirius kissed the arc of his neck again, biting and sucking and surely bringing up a flushed red mark.

His hands needed to be doing something, so Remus shoved them into Sirius's dark mass of hair and pulled him in, kissing him with open-mouthed bites and licks and little hungry sounds. Sirius responded by quickening his hand, working up and down faster and faster until he pulled away with a gasp and dropped to his knees. Before Remus could protest, Sirius was licking and sucking at the head of his cock, one hand still holding the base of his shaft firmly.

All thoughts of protest disappeared as Remus watched Sirius's cheeks hollow around his cock, his full red lips stretching around it. _Oh, God_, he thought. _Oh, fuck_. There was absolutely nothing he could do to stop himself from coming.

Before he could even begin a warning his cock stiffened and pulsed with exquisite intensity into Sirius's hot mouth. His heart was hammering through his ribcage, and when he could breathe again, he realized his hands were still fisted in Sirius's hair. Disentangling his fingers he dropped down and scrambled to pop the buttons of Sirius's jeans and shoved his hand in without ceremony. Sirius cried out, his swollen lips falling open as Remus worked his hand around Sirius's erection and rubbed as best he could at the awkward angle. Apparently it was enough for Sirius had fallen against him, his body going taut as a bow as Remus felt warm come spill over his hand.

They fell against the grass together, flies undone, and Sirius half-covering Remus's trembling body. Remus stared up the clear blue sky, utterly mindless for the moment. When Sirius eventually began to stir, just to better spoon up against him and pull him closer with a heavy, draping arm, Remus looked at the bag of coins and smiled.

"Maybe this rent boy thing isn't so bad after all."


End file.
